Happiness

This is a guest article by Willie Horton, www.Gurdy.net

Websites like Gleb’s are a superb resource for anyone who has decided to embark on life’s most exciting adventure – the journey of personal development and self-discovery.  Why?  Because personal development is a lifetime’s work, it’s an ongoing journey that will take you to places that the normal mind cannot imagine.  Too often, people are under the false impression that, once they embark on this journey, their lives will be changed immediately and irrevocably – as if struck by lightning.   Unfortunately, even if you are struck by lightning, its effects will eventually wear off.

On the other hand, I have seen people “struck by lightning” where, having decided that they wanted to change their lives, their lives changed for them very quickly – they immediately saw real and concrete benefits from being more focused, more mindful, more tuned in to the opportunities that life is offering you and me today – if only we had eyes to see.   But, even for these people, the effects wore off and they found themselves gradually return to “normality”.  And normality is a dangerous thing because decades of psychological research prove that to be normal is to be mad.

Here are a few key facts that you need to know if you want to progress along the path to effortless happiness and success.  So-called normal people pay about 1% attention to what is actually going on in the here and now – so, it’s pretty difficult for them to rise to today’s challenges effectively and it’s even more difficult for them to notice and recognize an opportunity when they see one.  The greater part of the normal mind’s attention is focused in the dim and distant past – what we call our formative years, when we were young and impressionable, when we learned our beliefs about the world and our place in it – and the normal subconscious thinks that all the things that made us feel good or bad about ourselves way back then are actually happening today!   That’s why we automatically feel shy or nervous, confident or inadequate –  it has nothing to do with now, a now to which we’re not really paying attention.   Which leads me to the most important fact:  your happiness, success, peace of mind and well-being is directly correlated with your ability to pay attention to the here and now.   As we’ve already seen, this is simply a task that the normal mind isn’t up to.

So, to change your life, you’re going to have to start living it, one moment at a time, in the here and now.   That’s why those people that I mentioned earlier, those people whose lives changed dramatically, drifted back to normality – because they stopped paying attention to the moment and drifted back into what is, for all of us, our normal, inattentive adult default state of mind.   Unfortunately, the normal mind is a little like a piece of crappy software that you download from the internet.  It loads up with default settings, which you change to your own settings.  However, when you wake up the next morning, the old crappy default settings are back – your inattentive default state of mind has to be reset every single day of your life if you want to progress, if you want more out of life.  The good news, however, is that, once you learn how to reset your mind to pay attention to the present moment, changing your “default settings” only takes a few minutes each day.

I said that happiness and success is a function of how good you are at paying attention.  You have to become an expert.  This is done by coming to your senses –  I literally mean that – you have five senses, pay attention to them.   Start by finding a quiet place first thing in the morning, close your eyes (it’s easier to pay attention to your senses one at a time for a start) and you’ll notice that someone’s turned up the sound!   They haven’t, of course, you’ve just started paying attention.  Notice the feel of your clothes against your skin – that feeling’s always there, but now you’re noticing.  If you build, day by day, on your ability to observe, notice and pay attention, you will suddenly find yourself being more tuned into what’s going on in the course of your daily life, you will suddenly become more effective and more efficient, because you’re more attentive.

But, you’ve got to take these little steps every single day – otherwise your default state of mind will kick in and, being surrounded by all the other normal mad people, it will be the easiest thing in the world to be normal all over again.   It has been said that there is never a single step wasted on the journey to self-discovery and self-fulfilment – no matter how small.  Every single step you take, each day, every time you sit down to “smell the roses” will be rewarded, little by little – or you might even be struck by lightning.  Sooner or later, the pennies will drop for you – you’ll realise new things about yourself, you’ll be alert to new opportunities.  But, just like the old “Penny Falls” in the amusement arcades when I was growing up, you never know which penny that you put in the slot will make loads of pennies cascade over the edge – you’ve got to put your penny in the slot every single day.  And, believe you me, it’s worth it.

About Willie Horton

Willie Horton has been enabling his clients live their dream since he launched is now acclaimed two-day Personal Development Seminars all the way back in 1996. His clients include top leaders in major corporations such as Pfizer, Deloitte, Nestle, Merrill Lynch, Wyeth, KPMG, G4S and Allergan together with everyone from the stay-at-home parent to sports-people. An Irish ex-banker and ex-accountant, he lives in the French Alps from where he travels the world as a much sought after motivational speaker and mentor. In 2008 he launched Gurdy.Net where is self-help seminars are now online. For more information visit Willie Horton’s Personal Development Website Gurdy.Net

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Treasure Hunting - Coins

Sometimes your hobbies don’t make much sense to others, but still prove to be immensely helpful and entertaining for you. Today I’d like to explain why it’s the case with one of the more recent hobbies I’ve acquired.

My approach to treasure hunting

One beautiful morning a few months ago I was walking across my company’s parking lot in the morning. It was an unusually sunny day, we don’t get that many of them here in Ireland. I was happy and ready for the challenges of the day, almost anticipating a quick scan through corporate email and immediate start with daily technical chores. As I was walking, I stumbled upon a coin. A brand new, shiny 2c coin. I picked it up and realized that it immediately improved my day by a tiny bit. That’s how it all started.

Since mid-summer 2008, I must have picked around a hundred coins – 2 coins a day on average. First, I’ve found the obvious treasure which was waiting for me on my way from the car to the office entrance. A few weeks later, I started changing my walking route slightly, by just a few steps a day. Yet another few weeks later, I developed a habit for always being on the lookout for more coins wherever I walk.

Benefits of my treasure hunting

Finding new coins is one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life: it’s really fun! I don’t do it for money, but every coin picked up makes me feel a bit better. I’m still to figure out what one can buy with all these coins, but for the moment it’s just great to realize how my treasure fund slowly grows cent by cent. Long gone the days of easy finds on the parking lot – nowadays I discover new coins everywhere I go – on streets, in shops and at airports.

Some coins have quite a history attached – I found one coin at 2am in Frankfurt as I was walking along some empty street, for example. I’ve got few coins brought from Munster, a great little town in central Germany. I’ve found coins in Dublin city center and in pretty much every local shop I go to in my area.

My treasure hunting hobby is a great financial mindset trainer, too. It has reassured me of a few financial basics:

• every little helps
• you too can be a money magnet if you want
• money is everywhere and sometimes all you have to do is to literally stop and pick up a coin
• the more you find, the easier it gets
• once you learn a skill, it can be applied everywhere
• if you receive money easily, it’s easier to give them away

Suddenly I see

You know the way people say you see what you focus on? Well, that’s what happens to me with coins. I feel like there are lost coins everywhere! I never thought there are so many of them out there just waiting to be picked up – but now that I developed a habit of always looking for them, I find new one almost every day even if I don’t get out much.

I suddenly see coins which have been around for weeks, months and sometimes even years – nobody noticed, that’s all.

It’s all about having fun

Like any hobby, finding coins is nothing but another way for me to have fun. I’m a cheerful person by nature, but some extra entertainment on a daily basis can never hurt. I have many other hobbies, some are cheap and some are expensive. Treasure hunting fits in very well – no setup hassle and plenty of immediate benefits.

See also:

• 3 Ways to Be Happy Here and Now
• How to Be Happy
• Do What You Like

Read more in: Happiness.

Who doesn’t want to be happy? We all do. This doesn’t mean we all are happy though, and one of the reasons for this is because we’re not used to being happy in the present, instead living with hopes to be really happy some time in the future.

No matter how healthy, good looking, successful and rich you are, you still feel the need to push a bit harder, postpone your happiness by a bit more, just to be really happy some other day. This being a human nature, we keep pushing our happy days forward again and again, as if our time in this life has no limits. Well, it does. And before it’s too late, take time to be happy right here and right now.

Here’s how!

Smile

Too simple for a happiness recipy? Try it, then ask yourself again!

You see, the physiology of smiling is such that no matter how depressed you are, just forcing yourself to smile for 15-30 seconds is guaranteed to make you feel a bit better.

If you’re not used to smiling, it’s going to take some practice, but the longer you keep forcing your smile, the easier and more natural your smiling will get.

Start slow and train yourself to smile for just few seconds every day. If it feels like the worst moment of your day and you can allow yourself a few minutes alone, go somewhere and force yourself to smile.

Don’t think about it! Don’t try to make your problems seem less important than they are. There is no need to analyze anything. Just smile. It’s a physical thing – smile and look out for the signs of feeling better.

Be Thankful

Now that you’re smiling, it’s time to learn another very effective way to immediately feel happy: being thankful.

We all have so much to be thankful for, yet the routine of our days make us take it all for granted. There’s so much going on that we simply do not have the time to be thankful anymore.

If something happens in a favorable way, we simply move on as if this had absolutely no way of going wrong. We jump right at the next challenge, tackle the next task and spend our days repeatedly ignoring all the lucky moments and positive changes we should be so thankful for.

Every day, there are many things to be thankful for. Make it your new habit to notice these things and be grateful.

One of the easiest ways to be thankful is to turn your attention to your family. These are the people you love most, and they are the ones who love you back and care so much about you. Yet, they are usually to get the least of your attention when it comes to being thankful.

You get so used to having a family that you don’t notice the magic of being needed and loved anymore. You think they’re going to be right beside you forever, and you somehow know you’ll always get the chance to show them how much you care and to thank them if you want to. Well, don’t you think it’s about time you actually do it?

If it’s been a while since you thanked your wife or husband for just being who they are, for loving you or for doing so much for your kids, they will probably laugh at you in disbelief. It’s going to take a while for them to understand that you are serious and truly thankful. But once they do, you’ll be amazed how much better it will make you all feel.

Learn To Forgive

Whether you’re angry at someone you used to be friends with, or simply mad at yourself for doing or not doing something, and especially if it’s a close relative of yours which you can’t seem to talk to anymore – learn how to forgive.

The sooner to forgive, the quicker you will break free from anger, hatred and every other negative emotion which controls you when you have a bad feeling towards someone or something.

One of the most important things to understand about forgiveness is that you do it not for the person you’re trying to forgive, but for yourself. Forgiving someone means letting this person be himself or herself, and leaving in the past all your negative feelings towards this person.

Quite often, the person you’re angry with is not even aware there’s still something left unsaid or undone between the two of you. This person has since moved on to a different life, and is focused on new challenges and positive changes they bring. By still feeling angry and not forgiving this person, you’re making it harder for yourself and yourself only.

Even if you’re the kindest person, there are still going to be people and things you will need to forgive. Take the time to do this, and enjoy feeling better about these people and about yourself.

That’s it – here you have the three wonderfully simple ways for you to be happy here and now. Don’t leave any of these steps for some later time. It’s going to take you a few seconds to get started, and you will immediately feel the results. Your happiness is in your own hands, so take the action now and be happy!

Read more in: Happiness.

Feels like it’s been a few months long vacation, and I kind of missed posting here. Guess what, I’ve had a moment of divine illumination – a two weeks of sheer joy and pure wisdom!

Do what you like – that’s been my motto for the past 2 weeks, and will be for the rest of my life!

You’ve Always Got Something To Celebrate

It all began on a weekend two weeks ago. Not all of you know, but I turned one year older around these days. On October 16th I got 28, and to mark the occasion we got ourselves a 2-day romantic special in a hotel in Kilkenny – a town not too far from Dublin. Liza had liked the whole thing most of all. She was thrilled to see new places, and loved rose petals lying around the room and on our beds when we arrived. She was really keen on a sip of champagne too, but her time will come :)

It’s been some time since we took a break from our work, and we needed it. We had a very quiet celebration, but enjoyed every minute away, seeing places and dining out. I managed not to get too philosophical about growing old, and was surprised and relieved to be happier than ever to meet my next year.

We came back to Dublin on the 16th, and got ourselves to a treat at a newly opened sushi place in the city centre (with all my dieting experiments we haven’t had sushi for almost a year! Outrageous, isn’t it?!). Later that night, we had friends visit us and they not only brought us the birthday gift I ordered myself through them (they were going home to their country and could buy it there for me), but also brought a great traditional cake. We’ve been eating this cake for 3 or 4 nights afterwards :)

On the weekend which followed we went to the John M Keating pub right in the city centre to meet with all the friends and celebrate my growing old once again.

Find Time To Do The Things You Like

I’ve spent most evenings of the last two weeks reading. Some inspirational stuff (will post a review soon), some educational, some technical. And I liked reading so much, that I hardly did anything else through my evenings! In the mornings, I did no writing. In the afternoons, I had no gym training because it was a heavily blocked week and I was jumping from one meeting to another all days. It felt great!

We also started the last stage of renovation works in our apartment during the long weekend (last Monday was an October bank holiday in Ireland), and with all the works the place was a real mess so we didn’t spend much time at home.

Instead, we did some shopping, we met with friends, we went to look at the Japanese Gardens and visited the Dublin Zoo. Talk about relaxation! I absolutely LOVE different environments, even if they are artificially created. The gardens were amazing, a really nice place for thinking and contemplation – with a full walk of life in a form of archways, dark caves and stepstones across shallow waters – it felt like a magical place. Dublin Zoo is one of the most favourite destinations of ours as well, plenty of room for my photographic zeal and lots of fun for the whole family. Finally, we’ve made it to Johnnie Fox’s – one of the most recognized pubs and restaurants in Ireland, which turned to be less than 5 miles from us.

Overall, these were the busiest and action packed 2 weeks of the year. We did so much, and it felt great because nothing was typical, everything was different.

Do It If You Think It’s Important

I think everyone needs a break like this. It felt wonderful and gave me time to recognize how much I have in my life. These two weeks helped me see the real value I give and receive, and made me reconsider my goals and priorities once again.

Looks like there’s been quite a few coincidences over the course of two weeks, but I’m inclined to think now that the seemingly coincidental way things stacked up and happened is not the cause, but the consequence of me freeing up so much time from blogging and other regular activities of mine. I can see my goals much clearer now. Those which are still with me, that is – I’ve actually dropped quite a few directions just because I no longer see the value.

How often should we do such breaks to decide where to go and what to do next? I don’t know. But I will certainly do it again, hopefully sooner than my next birthday :)

Read more in: Happiness.

Being a very happy man, I’ve been thinking of writing such a series of posts for quite some time. I just feel like I own this to others. Being happy is so easy, yet many people seem to need someone to walk into their lives and show them the way, stop them and point out something which can be the happiest thing they’ve seen in their lives so far.

Looking at people around me and seeing the reasons for their unhappiness, I’ve decided to share the very same happiness principles I use myself. All I ask of you is to make a decision and commit to reading every single post which will follow (11 planned so far). Make a promise to yourself that you will read each post and take at least one action based on what you learn. Even 11 simple steps towards your well being will make a great difference in the long run.

Remember: a simple change now can make all the difference for you tomorrow. It’s never too late to change something little today in order to make yourself happier tomorrow. Being happy is your choice.

What is happiness?

Happiness is an emotional or affective state that is characterized by feelings of enjoyment and satisfaction. As a state and a subject, it has been pursued and commented on extensively throughout world history. This reflects the universal importance that humans place on happiness.

(Taken from Wikipedia)

There are countless sources of both enjoyment and satisfaction in this world, and all kinds of them too. It’s not like there can be lack of reasons for being happy, or happiness for all the mankind can simply run out. Everyone can be happy, one way or another.

Why do some people feel unhappy?

It is quite common to believe that majority of unhappy people feel so because of the circumstances. Apparently, they are:

• born in a wrong place at a wrong time
• have not enough money to get any joy out of this life
• do not know enough to earn any serious money
• do not look as good as they should be
• victims of ridiculous circumstances
• can’t change anything in their lives

If you read through the list though, you will soon realize that there really is nothing which makes these people unhappy, apart from their own low self-esteem and attitude towards themselves and their lives.

For every reason not to be happy, you can find an explanation which proves it wrong!

For instance, is there definitely a good or right location to be born at? Is there a time when it’s best to be born? When you look at these statements this particular way, the questions do sound a bit stupid, don’t you think? There is no right place! There is no right time. You can be happy anywhere, wherever and whenever you happen to be. Being happy can and should be your personal choice.

I’ll just look at a few more of the fake unhappiness reasons from the list, just so that you get the idea.

Sure, being a millionaire does help you relax and find particular ways to enjoy this life. But does it mean that without huge sums of money you don’t stand a chance of being happy? Not at all! There are millions (if not billions) of people on this planet who are dirt poor, yet they wake up every morning with a smile of sheer happiness and they thank life and God for living one day longer.

In fact, many books explain that the majority of rich people in every country have and enjoy really simple values. Instead of getting excited about spending their millions, they buy used cars and enjoy quiet evenings at home with their families. Instead of wasting money on something exotic, they prefer drinking beer on their terrace with an old school friend. You see, once you get enough money (and other things which some of you mistakenly relate to happiness), you will see for yourself that only simple things make you really happy, only they are priceless by all means.

Happiness is all about your attitude. If you think you’re a victim and can’t change anything in your life, think again: no matter how hopeless your days may seem, there is always something you can change. You think you’re underpaid? Get a new job! Believe you should be doing something else? Have courage to speak up, discuss it with your partner and change a career. Don’t feel loved? Find out why: it’s not always about others, you know. Try giving more love, and see it come back.

Happiness is a miracle. We choose to be happy, yet others don’t believe it is our own choice. We can make others happy, yet not all of them will recognize it. Happiness is one of the essential feelings we all should have in our lives, yet often we give it the lowest priority and put it after many other things and feelings, which are not important at all.

It is about time you reconsider your life and make some changes. They don’t have to be dramatic. Remember: you were born to be happy. It’s one of your most natural feelings and states! This means that any step towards being happy will be helped by the world around you. Take courage to change, and you’ll be amazed how easy it really is to become just a bit happier with every single day.

Read more in: Happiness.

With our lifestyle these days, we don’t always get to stop and celebrate a particularly good day or event. We just take such days for granted (I’ve worked so hard, and I deserve it), or make an excuse of not having enough time to even recognize them (this day is good, but look at the whole next week of projects, work and problems to solve!).

With an attitude like this, sooner than you might think, you lose the habit of noticing your happy days, and then each day is just as gray as another one – it all turns into a routine.

Well, not for me. I’m a very happy person. I smile and laugh a lot, and this helps me cope with whatever challenges a new day may bring. I hadn’t celebrated a good few days which, looking back now, I recognize as being ones of the happiest in my life, and that’s why I made a decision to stop this before it’s too late. I will not let any positive day go unnoticed, and I will celebrate every moment of happiness in my life.

Today, I want to share some wonderful news with you: Liza, our little princess, has started walking on her own last week! We were incredibly lucky to watch her take the very first few steps, and this moment was the happiest one of the year so far.

Elizabeth had been able to stand up and kneel down for quite some time now, definitely a few months, but she never walked on her own. She didn’t mind walking with someone holding her hand, and she mastered following the walls and furniture to get where she wanted by walking. But this time, she had finally walked!

She crossed the living room – slowly and carefully, and smiled at us with a surprised expression on her face. It was as if she had no idea she could do such fun things as walking. We were equally amazed. It all happened so quickly and almost accidentally, that we could easily miss this miracle had we not been watching Liza closely at that time of the evening.

We hugged and kissed the little angel, and in just a few days she started walking regularly. She follows us into our rooms now, she fearlessly crosses the large living room we have, and you can see how her pace and movements grow steadier with everyday.

Now, that’s happiness. That was a great day, and I am so thankful for being lucky and happy in my life that I wanted to mark it here.

Take this advice: be sure to mark your happy days! They say that time heals everything and leaves to you only good memories after many years pass you by. But if you don’t take steps to mark each happy occasion, to grasp the moments of joy through photos, videos, or even a few lines like I’m doing right now, you’ll regret later. You’ll obviously remember that something good had happened, but most details will be gradually lost.

Don’t take this chance away – celebrate your happines, mark such days and make everything in your power to remember them most vividly. There will be days when you will need this happiness, when you will feel upset with your life or people around you, and will not see an easy way out of this sadness.

On one of these days, you’ll climb up to your attic to find some old magazine, and there, hidden among dusty pages, will be a very old family photo full of young smiley faces. And who knows – maybe, flying through dozens of instantly revived memories and crying with happiness, you’ll thank yourself once more for taking time to celebrate the moment.

Read more in: Happiness.

I’ve enjoyed thinking about his questions so much that I feel compelled now to share the same questions with all of you here.

Barry uses these questions in his CLARITY seminars, and the feedback on these questions from attendants been very positive.

Here is the big question:

Do you think what you are doing today is going to lead to happiness and fulfillment?

Barry also asks an even bigger question later in the very same post:

Why do we not do what we truly want to do?
Why the inAction?

Here are my answers to these questions below. I’m very interested in your answers as well, so please take time to leave a comment!

Do I think that what I’m doing today is going to lead to happiness and fulfillment?

Yes and no.

I’m a strong believer in my own actions, and that makes me happy. If I decide to do something, it’s because I know exactly what I want it, and understand clearly the benefits I’m going to get upon successful completion of the action.

Long time ago, I actually believed the someday principle. I was sure that someday I’ll do something amazing, and that will make all things right and leave me happy. Well, I still believe in great doings, but instead of waiting for this ultimate moment of happiness, I choose to be happy here and now. Every day and every minute. While I’m happy, many things are easier to get done. There’s a much higher chance of me inventing and doing something great and making my own dreams come true.

There is no point in waiting for something which will make you happy. Don’t count on some miracle to transform your life. All the miracles you’re going to see will take their origins in your own mind. Take smaller steps, pay attention to what you’re doing and why, and take time to enjoy every little success along the way. You’ll be much happier this way. You don’t have to waste many years of your life waiting for the perfect moment, only to realize one day that you’re old and helpless, and you better days are in the past.

So yes, I do think that what I’m doing makes me happy. It does it right now, and it will only make me happier in the future.

Why the inAction?

To be honest, there isn’t much of this in my life. I’m quite conscious that my time in this world is limited, and try to squeeze as much as I can into every day. I want to make a real difference, to give something positive back to millions. Sure, the world is yet to see my greatest works, but I know that’s my destiny.

I like helping others with any questions I know answers for, and every thank you I get from my friends and sometimes complete strangers only proves once again I’m on the right track.

I love doing what I do, because it makes me happy. I find happiness, fulfillment or both in practically everything I make. I know ways to motivate myself to act on anything that matters in the long run but doesn’t seem attractive at a particular moment.

Barry, I hope this answers your questions? Let me know what you think, and THANK YOU for a great idea! Made me think, and as we all know – thinking always promotes self-growth.

Read more in: Happiness.