Few days ago I’ve been given a chance to experience another new feeling: becoming even closer with my little daughter.
I woke up too early, and therefore was the first one to hear when Elizabeth woke up 20 minutes later. I went to her room, and she already was smiling when I entered the room – in the morning, when it’s so quiet in our apartment, she hears your steps and smiles in an anticipation of seeing you and being taken out of her cot for a morning hug.
It’s such a strange and pleasant feeling of hugging her for the first time in the day! She’s still very sleepy, but she recognizes you and smiles back, and hugs you back when you hold her.
I was given a chance to feed her from a bottle. Not that I had never done this before, but this time it was different because she was both sleepy and hungry, and also because previously I was only given a chance to feed her for a while and then hand her back to her mother. This time around, Jane was still asleep and we didn’t want to wake her up.
So I’ve had 15 minutes of feeding our child, and watching her smile as she was eating. I didn’t expect the feeding to be any different from the previous experiences of mine, but it turned into something completely different, something really emotional and unique.
It was really quiet and it felt like there were only two of us in the whole world. I hugged her tightly as she ate, and she hugged me. We were looking into each other’s eyes and it felt like there was some kind of morning magic in the air. We both were grateful for having each other this morning, and we both were happy.
As she was emptying the bottle, she was waking up, growing more alert and smiling even more. Sometimes she would stop for a few moments just to look around and make sure it was still okay for her to eat more. I could hear her breathe and swallow her milk, and felt how she was getting more and more relaxed with every sip of it. Finally, she finished her bottle and just lay there in my hands, still smiling but quickly falling asleep again. I’ve enjoyed a few minutes of listening to her breathing and feeling her heart beat, and then I put her back into her cot.
I couldn’t explain how or why, but I felt closer to my little girl than ever.