Lorraine Cohen from the Powerfull Living had invited me almost a month ago to participate in a meme called What Gives You Courage. I’m happy to finally participate. It’s a wonderful thought-provoking topic I would encourage everyone to give a try.
Lorraine, thank you for giving me a chance to recall once again one of the most glorious periods of my life so far.
What’s the bravest thing you ever did that you’re most proud of?
The bravest thing I’ve done in my life was, undoubtedly, moving to Ireland.
I had a dream of moving to an English speaking country. It seemed like fun. The idea was different from anything I had done up to that point in my life, and so one day I set my mind on finding a job and moving to either Ireland or UK. I was 20.
It took me around half a year to send 600+ emails to various employment agencies. The very first phone interview made me realise just how much room for improvement I had with my English. The most disappointing thing was the bad quality of connection. On a few phone calls the connection was constantly dropping, and I couldn’t hear properly what I had been told. Having asked to repeat the same question a few times in a row, I usually gave the interviewer enough information to hang up. They must have thought I didn’t speak English at all.
Still, this must have been one of the most exciting times for me. I worked like crazy during daytime, spent all my evenings and usually some of my nights studying Unix and all the topics relevant to the positions I was applying for, and greatly enjoyed this major boost in expanding my knowledge.
I played with wording the highlights of my career, and spent time talking myself through my own CV. My best friend Vitalik helped me create it. Although it was relatively easy for us to compose it, we never thought it could be so hard to read it out loud or answer relevant questions. Having found my jobs through friends and people who already knew my strongest areas, I never needed to go through a formal interviewing process even in Russian, let alone in English over a phone.
The funny thing was my salary. Kyrgyzstan isn’t one of the richest countries in the world, and I was quite young, so my salary at the time was a rather decent $100 a month. A month! This meant that every time someone asked me about my annual salary and I gave them a solid figure of $1200, they thought I had no basic knowledge of English and couldn’t answer even simple questions properly. Having clarified a few times that it was the correct figure for my annual, not monthly, pay, and never hearing back from interviewers, I had finally learned my lesson: from that moment on, my official salary was reported to anyone as a reasonable $25k.
I loved talking to new people and challenging myself to new interviews. Some of the questions were new, so I had to learn new things to be able to answer them next time around. Other Unix-related topics proved to be in an urgent need of being refreshed in my mind, which I did too. My rusty English got substantially better over that period – it felt great to see improvements in almost every area of my personal development.
By the end of my 6-month-long job hunting season, I had got 2 major companies interested in me. I flew to Dublin to see one of them, and was immediately charmed by the friendliness of Irish people and the amazing work environment of my future company – Sun Microsystems. I spent 2 days in Dublin and flew back home with a certainty to sign the contract.
It was believed that my work permit and relevant visa would take at least half a year, and so my life back in Kyrgyzstan settled down for a while – the major battle was won, and I could relax a bit. I was in the middle of young but strong relationship with my future wife, and I was really happy.
When all the employment papers came back just a few weeks later, leaving me only two months to wrap up and fly over to Dublin, it was a shock to everyone, myself included.
The best thing which happened to me within the space of those two months was the fact that I got married. We were hoping for a truly magnificent ceremony mid-summer, but with no time left we settled on having a humble family ceremony. I can’t think of anything else I could have done to become even happier in my last weeks home.
On March 8th, 2001 I have flown to Ireland and that’s how it all started. It was the first time in my life I had really lived alone, and I guess I never realized what it meant. It was only upon my arrival to Dublin that I felt alone and even a bit scared. On top of everything, I couldn’t understand much of what I had been told – apparently my English (which I had been rather proud of) was a bit rustier than I thought ;)
It took me more than a year to get into the zone of comfortable speaking the language, and I still learn something new everyday. It took me more than 3 years to understand what being a good team player means.
I owe everything in my professional growth to Damien Farnham, he was the one who recognized my potential from the day one, and literally spent years working with me and patiently pointing me in the right directions. I had to learn everything from scratch, because cultural differences meant I could apply very little of my previous experience. Once again, these were the thrilling times of tremendous self-growth. These were challenging times too, and many times I felt like giving everything up and flying back home.
Now, when I look back at all these years, I clearly see every lesson my life had for me. I could not have skipped these lessons even if I left. They had to be gone through and learned the hard way. They made me the man I am.
What gave you courage to be brave then, that continues to give you courage today?
Men are rather competitive in their nature. I didn’t have much courage when I started towards my dream of moving abroad. The thing is, I saw no need for any courage: it was a great challenge for me, and I was willing to try my best to reach the goal. I didn’t know it would be so hard to start afresh in a different country. I only envisioned positive sides of living abroad, and naturally this was only half of the story.
Sometimes I wonder if I would ever go the whole way though, had I known how much it would take for us to settle in Ireland. It wasn’t terribly hard, but there were challenges we never thought of – personally and professionally, both myself and my wife had to go through a major rework of ourselves. We’ve grown so much that sometimes we smile thinking of how different we were in our first years here. The only reason we pulled through was being together. Being there for each other when each of us needed it most.
What gives me courage today? I think there’s still not much courage in my life. It’s an ever-growing interest in life and my competitiveness which push me forward. I enjoy living in Ireland, and now that we have our lovely daughter with us it’s really not about me or my courage anymore. It’s about doing whatever necessary to make this little girl the happiest one on the planet.
When I drive home and pick Liza up from her creche, she always smiles and runs to me as quickly as she can. And every time she hugs me I’m close to tears because I miss her so much during my day. No matter how hard my days are, seeing the sincere smile of a loving daughter gives me all the strength I need to achieve new goals and overcome any obstacles on my way.
I think I have grown a lot personally over the past few years, and with every year I recognize love more and more as being the most important reason for everything in my life. Love. To love and to be loved. That’s my courage and motivation. That’s my reason and my way to live and to be happy.
Oh my goodness Gleb
I had no idea you were blogging from Ireland! I love that about the Blogosphere.
As for expressing yourself in English, you do better than many Americans who have trouble expressing themselves.
You mentioned earlier you don’t usually participate in memes. I’m honored you are playing with mine. Thank you!
I loved what you wrote. As a fan of your writing, you spun a wonderful tale of following a dream that challenged you to grow and step out of your comfort zone. You might not recognize it as courage, feeling “you did what you had to do” in order to pursue what you wanted. To me, that takes courage – to hang in and overcome the obstacles along the way. So many people quit when things get difficult.
Happy family life gives us strength and courage too. Love makes us strong. What a beatuiful life you have created because of your courage, vulnerability, and desire to grow.
It is possible to have it all! You sound like you do. :D
PS. I hope you’ll tag 5 more folks to paly and link back to us. :D
Cheers,
Lorraine
Thanks for a wonderful comment, Lorraine!
I’ll do my best with the tagging :)
My pleasure Gleb!
Thanks again for playing.
Cheers,
Lorraine
Fantastic post. Growth can only take place when you are prepared to step outside the comfort zone. More of us should follow your lead. Keep living courageously!!
Thanks for your kind words, Sam!
I’m glad to be setting a good example :) Here’s to all of us being as courageous as we really should be! :)
Very impressive Gleb! You really have to have a lot of courage to start from scratch, in a foreign country! I don’t know how many people could do that! Congratulations for doing what you wanted!
I embrace you,
Razvan Dobre
Thanks, Razvan!
Sometimes I tend to think it wasn’t just the courage but also lack of basic awareness on my part :)
Hi Gleb,
Good to meet you today (at Crown Plaza) and thanks for the tip on getting organized.
Just to share with you one of the greatest questions that i have heard in terms
of being a motivator….i read it in a book.
Just imagine you have had your life on this wonderful earth and you are asked “Well Gleb? You just had 120 years on earth….Was your life a success?”
That one really got me thinking and it actually made me scared and i thought
there is so much i want to do and accomplish…
Just have to keep reminding myself….
Will check out your blog when i get organised.
Cheers
Shaun
Hi Shaun,
Great meeting you too! Glad to see you’ve made it to my blog, and hope you like it. I’ll gladly share more self-organization and productivity tips with you.
Thanks for a great question, does make one think and re-focus!
Wow. This was very inspiring blog. Especially the fact that you stuck with this goal past all of those obstacles! What an adventure. And also, the love you have for your family and your clarity on why you worked so hard — a lot of integrity and bravery there! Thanks for sharing this on the internet.
Thanks for your words, Julie! Year after another one, I’m getting more confident that most interesting things and challenges are still to come.
It was great of you to stop by, I’ll definitely contact you directly by email.
courage keeps us going with our lives
Excellent advice, I will be coming over to your blog often for advice and tips. I feel like I can safe myself at least 50 years by listening to others. Why is it so hard to take someone elses advice? Do you only talk to people that are open or or do you share your message with everyone? Thank you for sharing your story. James
Hi Gleb:
This is fantastic. Thank you so much! I spent a few minutes this morning thinking of all the things I’ve done that have made me feel brave. Like you, I’m proud of the traveling I did alone in my 20s. I am proud of starting my own business eight years ago. Eight already! I am proud of giving birth to my lovely daughter. I am proud that I am able to have a career in which I can offer help and support to other people while still being able to care for my daughter. Thanks again Gleb, I’ll be checking your blog regularly.
Best wishes,
Jacque
Smackdown Your Inner Critic
http://www.101smackdowns.com
Thanks for your kind words, Jacque! Every one of us can find something to be proud of, the trick is to take the time and acknowledge our achievements. You sound like you’ve gone a great way so far, and I wish you all the best in the future!
Very good of you to leave a link back to your blog, too – never saw it before and will definitely take some time to read through it.
I love this!!! Positive minds think soooooooooo much alike that it’s scary. The bravest thing I did was leave my job and move to Germany and live on the economy. Man was that an experience I would not trade for anything. You get a whole new prospective when you are applying for a work visa and treated like an immigrant. You take about stretching and growing. I learned things about myself I never knew. I will check back often and stay up to date on what you are up to… Have a super day, James
Thanks for your great story, James! I see we can totally relate to each other’s experiences.
Great Post, I really enjoyed reading it. I totally with you when its said that courage is something that needs to occur within and when they are ready, Alot of people today unfortunatly lack courage which is whats holding them back in life, Lets hope they read your blog :)
Let’s also hope I’m not the only blog they should read for inspiration! :)
Thanks for stopping by, Sharon! Hope to see you again!
Fantastic post Gleb!
Keep living courageously by stepping out of your comfort zone and empowering yourself to be stronger, more skilled, more knowledgeable, more wise, and more tolerant than you were the day before.
Thanks, Zack!
I think you summed it up nicely – I only wish every day of my life was spent becoming a better person for others to be around.
Good luck, thanks for sharing a link to your website!
Man-o-man! Being a personal development coach myself, everything you are saying is right on target and drives the message home. It has always been true that, “You never really know just how many people you will help with your writings, but the spark will always be lite somewhere and someone towards their dream”. Keep up the great work and I’ll be checking back often. Building relationships for life,
James
Wonderful post and inspiring as usual …stepping out of your comfort zone and not being afraid of how well or badly you will fare is courage.
Hi Gleb! I am really impressed by your English. You are very fluent and you know the right grammar. You are doing great! About the life that you started from scratch in Ireland, man I salute you! Not many people can do that in a foreign place. I am always a fan of personal development. What you learned can never be taken away from you. As Robert Kiyosaki says
“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire, the size of your dream, and how you handle disappointment along the way.”
Cheers,
Roberto
Thanks, Roberto!
The bravest thing I ever did was admit to myself, God and a very close friend that I had a problem with alcohol. Within a few days of admitting the problem I was in a wonderful rehab center and getting back on the path of a productive life. On 2/17/09 I celebrate 2 years of sobriety and my life has never been better!!
Remember growth has pain associated with it, but in my opinion the pay offs are worth it!
Congratulations on finding the courage to face and overcome your problem, Katie!
Really liked your article Gleb, you fooled me on your English. If i didn’t know better, I would have said it was your first language.
Yes, it’s hard to make the first steps to change and I remember this in my own life. I am reminded by the old saying “A journey of 1000 Miles starts with a single step”. Keep up the good posts.
Thanks for your comment, Dwight! I like to think that it’s better to attempt something and possibly even fail rather than feel sorry for not even trying.
Awesome,
You know what, I can relate to your story. 8 years ago I move from Africa to the US because for some reason I thought I would turn my dreams into reality quicky. And boy was I right. I wouldnt have said this a year ago after what I have gone through to get where I am but after failing to get a job last year with a finance degree on my hands, I stumbled on an incredibly awesome opportunity that is bringing so much joy in my life. So…… ya! some times we need to take those leaps of faith and just follow that internal guidence system. We can be, do, and have all we want if we set our mind to it.
That’s a great story, Sam!
Love the last line of your comment, and totally agree with it: we can be, do and have whatever we want – it’s all about us making the right decision and following through.
You are right, success is usually a decision away. Like you said, I would rather have tried and failed than to have never tried and speculate and could have happened if I did. More over, we can learn a lot from our failures and change direction to what works. If you dont try, how do you know what works?
You are right, success is usually a decision away. Like you said, I would rather have tried and failed than to have never tried and speculate what could have happened if I did. More over, we can learn a lot from our failures and change direction to what works. If you dont try, how do you know what works?
Absolutely. Love is what belongs at the center.
I love reading this article. You inspire me.
Courage is an important virtue we must incorporate into our life, especially upon our personal growth. Without courage we cannot claim what is rightfully ours in this life. :-)
hey
nice article
I guess persistance pays.
Hey Gleb.
I just discovered your blog today and read this post, even though it is a couple of years old. I have similar experiences, having moved over to sweden 8 years ago, and recently moved back to london again.
I think it is inpiring to see how dedicated you were to your goal and how you made it happen where a lot of people give up at the first hurdle.
Courage grows with every challenge we negotiate, and we are adding to our personal development bank.
Steve
Wow! An inspirational story for sure!!!
The bravest thing I have done was jump out of a plane, but thinking about now, I think it kinda pales in comparison to your bravest moment
I wondered what for ie stands. Ireland. What a topic you brought up here and what a wonderfully interesting blog this is. There were times in my life I needed encouragement, but usually I was/am just facing what I am afraid of. I know too many people you might need every bit of encouragement. With 18 I went criss-cross Western Europe with my little new car. To the surprise of many nothing bad has happened. Of course not as I did not await anything bad to happen. Twice I got lost in a mountain area in the night, everything around me was dark and was afraid to run out of gas, but did not. When I was a teen I wanted to live in the US, at least for some time. I was 36 when I almost had a hard attack. When I came back from the hospital I decided to start to fulfill all my wishes, one at a time. I packed and moved to the US without any preparation.. I stayed for 7 years. To have courage is great as otherwise I would have missed out too much in life.
Well, everything happens for us a reason. Just never give up and keep fighting!
Hi Gleb
Really great blog – terrific finding the courage to start afresh in a new country. Also a great opportunity to redefine yourself – I know many people who feel they get trapped being in an environment with lots of old associations and making a move can be really empowering.
Thank you very much Gleb for bringing this article, while I was reading this article I just went back to my past life and remembered what had happened and how better should I have handle it.
Great share.
Coming from a background of being a Pediatric Nurse I missed out on a lot of things because of my limiting beliefs about myself and what i was capable of. When I started doing personal development I began to see that my results were a direct reflection of the thoughts and actions I took.
I really dove into this type of thinking and started to realize I had limiting beliefs that were holding me back from creating this life I said I wanted. I am truly living a life I love now. I now run my own business and get to spend everyday with my husband and daughter. And it is something I would not have accomplished if it was not for moving past those beliefs that tell you you dont deserve more or your not capable of more. For me, its all about taking the actions to transform my limiting beliefs into ones that moved me forward in life, not hold me back.
Good Article, it gives me fresh to start in a brand new style
Niluka
Hi Gleb,
Wow you leave me touched and inspired. Courage today for me is to push past my fears, realising my fears but still not letting it stop me from achieving my goals
Thanks Nigel, we all are capable of amazing things – just need to find that courage!
WOW, That’s an inspiring story! Good for you on moving to Ireland. Truly Amazing.
A great uplifting Article. I’d have to say for myself, leaving a JOB to live my passion :)