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You are here: Home / Happiness / Simple Steps to a Better Life

Simple Steps to a Better Life

May 6, 2010 by Gleb Reys 19 Comments

Happiness
Happiness

This is a guest article by Willie Horton, www.Gurdy.net

Websites like Gleb’s are a superb resource for anyone who has decided to embark on life’s most exciting adventure – the journey of personal development and self-discovery.  Why?  Because personal development is a lifetime’s work, it’s an ongoing journey that will take you to places that the normal mind cannot imagine.  Too often, people are under the false impression that, once they embark on this journey, their lives will be changed immediately and irrevocably – as if struck by lightning.   Unfortunately, even if you are struck by lightning, its effects will eventually wear off.

On the other hand, I have seen people “struck by lightning” where, having decided that they wanted to change their lives, their lives changed for them very quickly – they immediately saw real and concrete benefits from being more focused, more mindful, more tuned in to the opportunities that life is offering you and me today – if only we had eyes to see.   But, even for these people, the effects wore off and they found themselves gradually return to “normality”.  And normality is a dangerous thing because decades of psychological research prove that to be normal is to be mad.

Here are a few key facts that you need to know if you want to progress along the path to effortless happiness and success.  So-called normal people pay about 1% attention to what is actually going on in the here and now – so, it’s pretty difficult for them to rise to today’s challenges effectively and it’s even more difficult for them to notice and recognize an opportunity when they see one.  The greater part of the normal mind’s attention is focused in the dim and distant past – what we call our formative years, when we were young and impressionable, when we learned our beliefs about the world and our place in it – and the normal subconscious thinks that all the things that made us feel good or bad about ourselves way back then are actually happening today!   That’s why we automatically feel shy or nervous, confident or inadequate –  it has nothing to do with now, a now to which we’re not really paying attention.   Which leads me to the most important fact:  your happiness, success, peace of mind and well-being is directly correlated with your ability to pay attention to the here and now.   As we’ve already seen, this is simply a task that the normal mind isn’t up to.

So, to change your life, you’re going to have to start living it, one moment at a time, in the here and now.   That’s why those people that I mentioned earlier, those people whose lives changed dramatically, drifted back to normality – because they stopped paying attention to the moment and drifted back into what is, for all of us, our normal, inattentive adult default state of mind.   Unfortunately, the normal mind is a little like a piece of crappy software that you download from the internet.  It loads up with default settings, which you change to your own settings.  However, when you wake up the next morning, the old crappy default settings are back – your inattentive default state of mind has to be reset every single day of your life if you want to progress, if you want more out of life.  The good news, however, is that, once you learn how to reset your mind to pay attention to the present moment, changing your “default settings” only takes a few minutes each day.

I said that happiness and success is a function of how good you are at paying attention.  You have to become an expert.  This is done by coming to your senses –  I literally mean that – you have five senses, pay attention to them.   Start by finding a quiet place first thing in the morning, close your eyes (it’s easier to pay attention to your senses one at a time for a start) and you’ll notice that someone’s turned up the sound!   They haven’t, of course, you’ve just started paying attention.  Notice the feel of your clothes against your skin – that feeling’s always there, but now you’re noticing.  If you build, day by day, on your ability to observe, notice and pay attention, you will suddenly find yourself being more tuned into what’s going on in the course of your daily life, you will suddenly become more effective and more efficient, because you’re more attentive.

But, you’ve got to take these little steps every single day – otherwise your default state of mind will kick in and, being surrounded by all the other normal mad people, it will be the easiest thing in the world to be normal all over again.   It has been said that there is never a single step wasted on the journey to self-discovery and self-fulfilment – no matter how small.  Every single step you take, each day, every time you sit down to “smell the roses” will be rewarded, little by little – or you might even be struck by lightning.  Sooner or later, the pennies will drop for you – you’ll realise new things about yourself, you’ll be alert to new opportunities.  But, just like the old “Penny Falls” in the amusement arcades when I was growing up, you never know which penny that you put in the slot will make loads of pennies cascade over the edge – you’ve got to put your penny in the slot every single day.  And, believe you me, it’s worth it.

About Willie Horton

Willie Horton has been enabling his clients live their dream since he launched is now acclaimed two-day Personal Development Seminars all the way back in 1996. His clients include top leaders in major corporations such as Pfizer, Deloitte, Nestle, Merrill Lynch, Wyeth, KPMG, G4S and Allergan together with everyone from the stay-at-home parent to sports-people. An Irish ex-banker and ex-accountant, he lives in the French Alps from where he travels the world as a much sought after motivational speaker and mentor. In 2008 he launched Gurdy.Net where is self-help seminars are now online. For more information visit Willie Horton’s Personal Development Website Gurdy.Net

Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: better life, Happiness, success

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. D. Woods says

    May 7, 2010 at 7:35 am

    How did u know I needed to hear this? Ask and God (Universe or whatever you call your higher power) replies. Its REAL true. I am feeling it right now. Thanx Gleb

    Reply
  2. Alexis says

    May 10, 2010 at 10:39 pm

    Thank you for sharing this article. I think self-motivation is definitely something we encounter daily. I agree, sart living to start reaping a reward :)

    Reply
  3. Dr Paul Dyer says

    May 28, 2010 at 9:39 pm

    Undoubtedly, we we find more joy when we learn to live in the present moment. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  4. Mark Hanselich says

    June 3, 2010 at 5:29 am

    Some people say living for a moment and self-motivation can’t be combined, but I think only combining this two aspects of life can bring you lasting happiness and success in your life. Greetings, Mark.

    Reply
  5. MH Zurish Quiros says

    June 11, 2010 at 11:35 am

    Yes, definitely one step at a time. As a first-time mom, I find that I really do have to take it one step at a time. Things can get overwhelming and it’s important to take a step back, breathe, and dissect :) For those who are also continually improving their life here’s a good article about making everyday a great day :) http://sn.im/wyeyb

    Reply
  6. Niluka Weerasinghe says

    June 18, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    Good lesson, when we point to self motivation, it can apply to every place in human life. it’s a the start of man who is willing touch the sky,.

    Thank you sharing this points

    Niluka

    Reply
  7. Emily says

    June 22, 2010 at 1:47 am

    I’m intrigued about the research studies you mentioned about “normal” people. I will have to delve into this subject myself eventually. I assume you mean the typical person, who lives in a passive state. I think you are absolutely right. Mindfulness and constant re-evaluation are the keys to living a meaningful life. It’s not easy!

    Reply
  8. Aileen says

    June 22, 2010 at 10:42 pm

    I agree with what you said that every single step we make will be rewarded. Like when we were kids, some of us already wanted to be grown ups to be able to do the things big people can do (drive their own car, eat whatever they wanted to eat, sleep late at night, go out with friends, etc.) but little that they know that wishing to be a grown up will make them miss out all the rewards they could get from being a kid, such as being able to play with the coolest toys ever or live years without worrying what will happen tomorrow since the parents are responsible for that. If you take things one step at a time, you’ll be able to see everything that life has to offer. It’s best to live your life slowly but surely because you would be able to remember all the priceless bits and pieces of it, unlike when you rush things with life, you tend to forget almost all of them. We just have to keep in mind that we will eventually have our fair share of everything. How else in the world would you be able to pay attention and be more efficient if you’ll keep on leaving important things behind.

    Reply
  9. Gayathri Moosad says

    June 29, 2010 at 4:11 am

    I totally agree with these words – “you’ve got to take these little steps every single day – otherwise your default state of mind will kick in and, being surrounded by all the other normal mad people, it will be the easiest thing in the world to be normal all over again. ” Earlier, I used to fall into this trap. I would get all motivated for a while, and then again fall into mediocre ways by associating with people of lower vibration. Now, I have realized with it is not their fault, it is my own. I now raise my vibration daily by reading content like this, and writing content like this. This way, I can help raise the vibrations of those around me too. I no longer get drained. I get charged.

    Thanks for the great post!

    Reply
  10. WiseMrLove says

    July 19, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    I agree with this point of view from the aspect of living in the moment and enjoying today. too often in our quest for success and a better life we are always focused on the future on the things yet to be achieved, on the mountains yet to be conquered that we lose sight of the now and forget to appreciate that which we already have and that which already surrounds us. I guess we can concluded that while pursuing a better life and a better future we should not forget to take a step back to relish the moment of the now.

    Reply
  11. teamcurtisfamily says

    August 11, 2010 at 12:48 am

    Happiness is definitely a piece of mind. To me complete happiness is being balanced in all areas of life. Spiritual, Relationships, Health and Financial.

    Reply
  12. Patrick.S says

    August 11, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    I agree that to be happy and successful we need to focus. But sometimes to be happy we need to think happy! Not think too much of the past instead forgive and move on. Or not worry about tomorrow too much you’ll know what to do when you’re there. Make a plan, then live it one day at a time. Remember that happiness is a journey not a destination. Be happy in everything you do every step of the way

    Reply
  13. Paulineh James says

    September 1, 2010 at 2:58 am

    happiness is a choice. focus on your self and the things that you want to achieve. happiness comes within and you should start within your self. develop/improve yourself more and be contented on the things that you have. i think that’s the best way to be happy. to be happy is to be contented on how your life goes.

    thank you for sharing this wonderful information. looking forward for more reading… :)

    Reply
  14. Declan says

    December 1, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    Really enjoyed this post and agree with almost all of it with just one exception.

    Personally i don’t buy into the whole concept of happiness. If happiness is true then sadness must also be true. i just don’t get the idea of being happy one moment and then sad the next. Awareness is the key to acceptance which is the real truth behind the labels of happiness and sadness. if you practice living in the moment instead of visiting the past and fantasizing about the future then all there is, “is life” no labels, no duality and in essence no reaction to emotions on the whole.

    Every emotion is of equal importance and by labeling and distinguishing the difference between them is like tagging them for future evaluation.

    i believe it’s a contradiction to want to be happy. it cannot be attained, it cannot be pinned down to certain criteria and if people really want to be happy then they must realize that nobody or no thing can ever make you happy. they can make you feel like you’re happy, but if what you think makes you happy was taken away, would the happiness still remain.

    it may have been possible to experience true happiness when you were a child, simply because your preconceived notions of reality have not been manipulated and distorted by other peoples belief systems being downloaded to our subconscious.

    So even if we truly believe we can be happy, we cannot be sure whether or not we are really experiencing the real truth or just our perceptions based on our judgments, prejudices and experiences.

    Awareness of oneself is the only real truth but only if we are willing to completely drop the egoistic mind.

    I don’t say this with the idea of doom and gloom painted into the canvas of my own perception but simply to make the point that who you truly are deep down behind all the superficial baggage is all there needs to be. if you believe you are worthy and perfect then there’s no need for the concept of “happiness.”

    Reply
    • Gleb Reys says

      December 2, 2010 at 11:20 pm

      Hi Declan,

      I believe knowing the truth will not (always) make one happy. So if I’m happy, I try not to question why exactly. I do question the rare occasions of being unhappy though – always useful to know how to get rid of something depressing or irritating :)

      Gleb

      Reply
  15. ActionPower says

    September 26, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    thank you for an excellent article. I remember the wise words of Rabbi Hyman Schachtel: “Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have”. Wiser words were seldom spoken.

    Reply
  16. Alice Hive says

    December 27, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    I like this! It’s the same problem when you’re too succcess-oriented: Okay, you might have a few success here and there but after a while the happiness you can draw from your big successes will just wear of.

    Either you can find a way to be happy right now, or there won’t be a guarantuee that you’ll ever be it for a longer period of time.

    Reply
  17. Peter Turley says

    March 4, 2012 at 11:34 pm

    All that matters is now.
    I enjoyed your article a lot. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!
    I’m a big advocate for living presently and have also written an article highlighting its importance.
    Thanks again,
    Peter.

    Reply
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