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Personal Development

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Mastering Habits

How to Increase Self-discipline: 5 steps to self-mastery

December 18, 2010 by Gleb Reys 2 Comments

Today I have a great guest blog for you, Mark Tyrell shares excellent advice on self-discipline. Hope you like it, and don’t forget to explore Mark’s website: Hypnosis Downloads.

Once a wise man asked another man: “Can you keep a secret?” The other man eagerly replied that he could: “Then observe!” said the wise man: “So can I”

Personal self control can make the difference between a life well lived with plans and dreams realized and a sense of regret and waste.

Research stretching back years showed that children as young as four who could exert self discipline by controlling an impulse to have a sweet now so that they could have two sweets later (1) were more likely to have successful happy lives as adults. Self discipline doesn’t just make us successful it makes us happy it seems.

But self discipline isn’t just about the lottery of genetically inherited luck; something we’re either born with or not. We can all learn to control even master our immediate wants and impulses. So how do you do this? How can you purposefully strengthen your self discipline?

Step one: Exercise your discipline muscle

Just think about the language we use to describe self discipline: We talk about it being “strong” or “weak” just like a muscle. And research (2) has found that just like a muscle the more you exercise your self control the stronger it gets.

But it gets better. Exercising will power in one place (such as making ourselves work on our cherished project for a set time every day) will start to strengthen self discipline in other areas such as being able to say no to that tempting social invitation when you’d previously promised your pal you’d sit and listen to their marital problems. . So exercising self discipline specifically can strengthen it generally. But alas self discipline behaves like a muscle in another way too…

Step two: Don’t overdo it!

Exercising all day every day, lifting weights for hours on end won’t make you stronger in fact overtraining will start to weaken and waste your muscles (3)

Likewise people who have a New Years’ Resolution frenzy deciding to exert massive amounts of self discipline all over the place all at once will likely end up feeling less able to exert self control. When we exercise a muscle we deplete it of stored natural sugars (glycogen) and eventually the muscle weakens which means we need to rest. It’s the same with self control. Amazingly when you exert self discipline you actually deplete glycogen stores in your body just as with physical exertion! (4) Its even been found that ensuring your blood sugar levels are stable helps strengthen self discipline. So decide where you want to focus your self control, don’t overdo it all at once and build it up slowly.

Step three Beware of perfectionism

Having to do everything absolutely perfectly may, paradoxically, over use your supplies of will power needlessly making you less fulfilled and effective. Remember exerting self discipline drains glucose levels from the body and the perfectionist feels they have to exert their will and attempt to control everything. Feeling compelled to control all kinds of things that you really don’t need to (such as what other people say or think) is a waste of will power where it could be reserved and focussed on where you really need it. Being to perfectionist can make us give up earlier and stop trying or bothering because of the thinking error that: “If it’s not exactly as I feel it should be then it’s not worth bothering with at all!”

So remind yourself that you are only human and that you can make mistakes and you’ll actually find greater levels of self discipline.

Step four: Strongly imagine the consequences of your actions

The children in the self discipline research who were able to forgo having a marshmallow treat immediately by waiting (and thereby getting two treats!) were able to do this because they used their imaginations constructively. This is a good example of how one of nature’s finest human tools, the imagination, is meant to be used (one way it is commonly misused is through needless worrying) When you need to exert discipline and lead your own impulses really imagine the positive consequences later of being strong now. I use hypnosis with my clients, a very powerful way to access the imagination to strengthen resolve in this way.

Step five: Remind yourself who you are

When we feel like being weak we become trapped in the present (sometimes “living in the moment” isn’t so great) But it’s been found (5) that when we feel like giving into temptation stating to ourselves or even out loud our core values can give us an injection of immediate self discipline. Doing this can snap us out of tunnel vision and illuminate the bigger picture which in turn weakens the impulse. So next time you feel magnetically drawn to those doughnuts you might tell yourself: “Health and the welfare of my body is important to me!” or if someone felt compelled to treat someone else badly they might state to themselves: “Being a decent human being is important to me!” Try it.
And finally I’m reminded of the words of the ancient Roman poet Horace “Rule your mind or it will rule you.”

About Author

Mark Tyrrell regularly exerts self discipline to ensure he produces his prodigious output of articles, downloads and training, including a recent download on self discipline.

References:

  1. C. and Mischel, W. (1976). Effects of temptation-inhibiting and task-facilitating plans on self-control. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 33 (2), 209-217 DOI: 10.1037/0022-3514.33.2.209.
  2. See: Gailliot, M.T., Mead, N.L., & Baumeister, R.F. (2008). Self-Regulation, In O.P. John, R.W. Robbins & L.A. Pervin (Eds.), Handbook of Personality: Theory and Research (pp. 472-491). New York: The Guilford Press.
  3. See: Doug McGuff’s excellent book ‘Body by science’ 2009
  4. The mind-body response of exerting willpower literally fatigues us (Tice et al., 2007). It depletes physical power, as shown in one study that looked at the effects of mental self-control on physical stamina (Bray et al., 2008). In this study, trying to control one’s thoughts decreased muscular endurance, as measured by performance and EMG activity. The researchers who conducted this study called the effect ‘central fatigue’. This all provides another reason why it might be a good idea to exercise first thing.
  5. According to research conducted by Schmeichel and Vohs in 2009.

Filed Under: Mastering Habits, Motivation, Productivity

Why Sharing Knowledge Is Vital For Success

July 17, 2008 by Gleb Reys 16 Comments

Sharing your knowledge, especially if it’s useful and unique, isn’t always easy. There are plenty of reasons why you should do this, but somehow it’s very easy to get stopped by negative assumptions. In today’s post, I’d like to share my opinion on sharing knowledge, and ask for yours in return.

Naturally, most of us feel competition. Even in your own team, you’re bound to think now and then of how good or bad your performance is compared to that of other team members. While this is absolutely natural, you shouldn’t let such a competition spirit get in the way of you sharing the knowledge with others.

[Read more…] about Why Sharing Knowledge Is Vital For Success

Filed Under: Mastering Habits, Personal Development

How Habits Help Me Be Successful

September 12, 2007 by Gleb Reys 17 Comments

Master Habits Successfully!

I’ve recently come across another quite interesting challenge, and once again I just couldn’t let it pass without participating.

It looks like Jenny and Erin are on their quest to find out as much as possible about habits. They seem to be interested in every little detail: what you think of habits, how you form them, and what makes your habit setting and mastering a success. Everyone’s more than welcome to participate.

Those of you who’ve been reading this blog for some time will surely remember that habits are one of the topics I’m passionate about. I like talking about them so much that there’s even a separate category created on my blog: Mastering Habits.

[Read more…] about How Habits Help Me Be Successful

Filed Under: Mastering Habits

New Habits I’m Working On

May 18, 2007 by Gleb Reys 15 Comments

It’s been a while since I’ve shared with you my habits, so this Friday evening seems like a perfect chance to shed some light on what’s currently in the works:

 

1) Early mornings – 4:30am
This is the latest habit which I’m still working on, and it’s going surprisingly well. Perhaps, my previous habit of 5:30am helped, plus I’m concentrating on early mornings more now, and when there’s a focus, there’s an improvement too!

I plan to write a big article on becoming an early rise. It’s been done before, and there are quite a few really good guides around (I really like the Become an Early Riser one at ZenHabits), but there’s always going to be a new angle to look at why people want to rise early and how they manage to do it on a consistent basis.

 

[Read more…] about New Habits I’m Working On

Filed Under: Mastering Habits

Creative Habit Naming – Part 3

February 12, 2007 by Gleb Reys 3 Comments

As you probably remember from the first part of Creative Habit Naming mini-series which was posted last November, I’ve discovered a very effective technique for mastering your habits: creative habit naming.

The idea is pretty simple: when you’re working out a particular habit, every little helps to stay motivated and interested enough. When it comes to mastering habits, creative habit naming is a very effective way of making your life easier.

I’ve also identified three main directions in creative habit naming: motivation, progress tracking and positive affirmations. Previous two parts of this mini-series have covered topics on motivation and progress tracking, and today I’m going to talk about the third direction I have identified – positive affirmations.

[Read more…] about Creative Habit Naming – Part 3

Filed Under: Mastering Habits, Motivation, Personal Development

Creative Habit Naming – Part 2

November 20, 2006 by Gleb Reys 5 Comments

As you probably remember from the first part of Creative Habit Naming mini-series which was posted last week, I’ve discovered a very simple technique for mastering your habits: creative habit naming.

The idea is pretty simple: when you’re working out a particular habit, every little helps to stay motivated and interested enough. When it comes to mastering habits, creative habit naming is a very effective way of making your life easier.

 

I’ve also identified three main directions in creative habit naming: motivation, progress tracking and positive affirmations. In the first part of the series, I’ve covered the motivational part of creative habit naming.

 

 

Today, I’m going to talk about the second direction you can distinguish – progress tracking.

 

If you were asked to come up with an additional function for a name of any habit you have, progress tracking would probably be one of your very first guesses.

Why? Because tracking your progress is always a good thing, and measuring your performance in mastering a particular habit is just too cool an idea to pass it by.

 

Here are the two most useful ways of naming your habit with progress tracking in mind:

Regularity

As you probably know, one of the hardest things in mastering habits is the fact that it’s so damn hard to stay regularly committed. Honestly now, most of people who don’t exercise or commit regularly to some other kind of habit do this not because they’re lazy, but because it is actually hard to repeat the same set of actions over and over again without seeing great results quickly enough.With most habits, you have to stay committed for quite some time, before you finally start getting some results.

It’s not like you can try it one day, and then immediately see the positive result in just a few moments. It usually takes few days, if not few weeks, to see the first positive confirmation of your habit working towards the ultimate result you desire.

So it only makes sense to name some of your habits in such a way that the name itself will contain come kind of regular commitment.

Think of how frequently you’re going to get back to your habit. If it’s a daily action, or a weekly one – then you probably know what words you need for the name of a habit (daily or weekly, for those who don’t follow me yet).

If you look at naming a habit this way, you will actually remember many good habits you already have, which you stay pretty committed to: your Sunday church, your Saturday golf, your Thursday night out (very traditional thing here in Ireland by the way). It doesn’t have to be a weekday, either. You have many other habits, I’m sure: your morning shower, your daily job (not a very nice habit, I must admit – but hey it probably pays to do so!).

There are also some quite successful extremes which don’t even seem to have anything regular in their names, but they are habits as well: your birthday (I bet this is one habit you always stay faithful to), your anniversary, etc.

 

Count

This is another way of being creative with naming your habits. Just add some kind of count to the name!

For instance, here’s how my ab crunching routine is called: my daily 42 ab crunches. The name suggests, as you can see, the regularity of the habit (I’m proud to say that over the course of 3 months I’ve only skipped two days) and the count of ab crunches I’m doing every particular week.

I started a while ago with 30 reps a day. I did them for a week, and then moved on to 31 reps a day. After a week I’ve increased the number again, and so this week it is 42.

Using count in the name of you habit helps you not only track your progress, but also gives you additional motivation by confirming how far you’ve gone already. By simply reminding myself that it’s 42 ab crunches this morning, I also realize that it’s been 3 months of my exercises.

42 sounds much better than the original 30 ab crunches I’ve started with, and trust me it feels differently too – it’s harder to have 42 reps, but at the same time it feels great to be able to do 42 and still feel like you could do extra 20 just because you’ve improved so much over the time.

 

Another way to use count in naming a habit is to you is as a deadline. For instance, you can have a habit like this:

  • Learn a new language in 2 years time
  • Become a millionaire by the age of 30
  • Learn how to count from 1 to 1000 in Chinese

That’s all for today. Have I left something out? Please leave your thoughts on this topic in comments area, I would live to learn your approaches to creative habit naming. Thanks in advance!

Filed Under: Mastering Habits, Personal Development

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