Get Organized. Stay Motivated. Enjoy Life.
I’ve finally created the Positive Questions part of this blog, because I’d really like to start collecting all the various positive questions I daily come up with. The new section is going to be an index of all the positive questions I know, and I’ll be happy to add your positive questions to it.
The key to mastering positive questions is this:
When faced with a difficult situation, learn to start your questioning with this simple question: What positive questions can I ask myself about this?
This is an incredibly inspirational story, which shows once again that real love and human will can make wonders. I admire Dick Hoyt for being such a great father to his son, and I understand exactly what motivates him, cause I feel the same urge to do anything just to see my little daughter smile.
Apparently, it’s very hard to find where exactly this article is originally from. I’ve just read it in the Journey With Me blog.
Update: thanks to Marcus, I’ve learned that Rick and Dick Hoyt have their own website – Team Hoyt.
I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.
But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
Eighty-five times he’s pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he’s not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars–all in the same day.
Dick’s also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much–except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester, Mass., 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.
“He’ll be a vegetable the rest of his life;’’ Dick says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. “Put him in an institution.’’
But the Hoyts weren’t buying it. They noticed the way Rick’s eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. “No way,’’ Dick says he was told. “There’s nothing going on in his brain.’’
“Tell him a joke,’’ Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.
Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? “Go Bruins!’’ And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, “Dad, I want to do that.’’
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described “porker’’ who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. “Then it was me who was handicapped,’’ Dick says. “I was sore for two weeks.’’
That day changed Rick’s life. “Dad,’’ he typed, “when we were running, it felt like I wasn’t disabled anymore!’’
And that sentence changed Dick’s life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
“No way,’’ Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren’t quite a single runner, and they weren’t quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, “Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?’’
How’s a guy who never learned to swim and hadn’t ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried.
Now they’ve done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii. It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don’t you think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you’d do on your own? “No way,’’ he says. Dick does it purely for “the awesome feeling’’ he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992–only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don’t keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.
“No question about it,’’ Rick types. “My dad is the Father of the Century.’’
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. “If you hadn’t been in such great shape,’’ one doctor told him, “you probably would’ve died 15 years ago.’’
So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other’s life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass., always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father’s Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
“The thing I’d most like,’’ Rick types, “is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.’’
Here’s the video… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4B-r8KJhlE
More and more I realise that this simple rule is absolutely true: what you focus on will improve.Over the past few months I’ve been trying to improve so many things in my life that it would take a while even to write them down. Not everything was a complete success, but I’m more than happy with the results I’ve achieved so far. And now that I gradually become more and more conscious about the need to maintain my focus on the right things, I notice that some experiences of mine were an absolute success, and that it wasn’t just a coincidence.
I’ve realised that only the things I’ve paid most attention to got greatly improved.
Know what your goals are
I’ve said it before, and I’m going to repeat it: know what your goals are! Because if you’re going to focus on something to make it happen and to improve it, you have to be absolutely sure where you’re going with your goals.
Wrongly chosen focus could mean that you’re going to improve things which don’t really matter to you. Improving them will take time and efforts, but will not bring you closer to your goals. And this, done repeatedly to yourself, brings a certain frustration.
Let your focus do the work for you Too often people let great ideas go simply because they fear they’re not going to have enough time, money, skill or some other resource to make the idea work. And while it’s generally a good approach to be conscious about your abilities and resources, you should never worry about things without first taking time to analyze them.
What I’m trying to say is that if you pick an idea, and immediately start worrying about everything that comes to your mind, it’s not going to get you anywhere. This isn’t what we call a productive thinking.
What you need to do instead is to write an idea down, in as much detail as possible. That’s the first step towards a proper analysis and planning. Then, start writing down what it’s going to take you to make the idea work. DON’T worry about HOW you’re going to make it all work. Just write it down as if there’s going to be someone else who will magically do all the work for you. Remember: you’re trying to build a plan which works, not the plan which will simply scare everyone (including yourself) away from a brilliant idea.
After you’ve written everything down, pick a few of the most important areas of the project. They are the ones you want to keep your focus on. And for each of these, come up with at least 2 next steps to bring you closer to your goal. Don’t worry about how big or small these few steps are – but make sure they are real to you, they are some things you can go and do yourself, right now or a little bit later.
After this, let your focus do the work for you. Print the goals out in a large font and put them on your desk or your whiteboard. Make sure you review them daily, and get into a habit of coming up with at just one step which will bring you closer to your goal, every day.
What you should aim for is a progress, not a difference it will or will not make. You want to get into a proper state of mind – into a planning mode, when your creative thinking will give you more and more actions you can do to bring you closer to your goal. You want to learn how to get into this state on a constant basis. And after you master this habit, you will be shocked how easy it is to move towards your goal.
Never underestimate the power of focus!
Don’t be surprised with your resultsSometimes maintaining a focus will make a positive difference somewhere you never expected it!
Here’s an example for you: two months ago I’ve realised that I was making quite a number of spelling errors as I wrote my articles. Most of these errors were made because I was in such a creative state while working on an article, that my mind would simply disregard any spelling questions – and so some words would always be spelled incorrectly, mostly the same words with the same spelling errors.
I had realised that bad spelling wasn’t doing me any favours, and so I’d made a decision to spell-check every article of mine before I post it.
It was that simple: there was a problem which needed my attention, and so I maintained my focus on it to ensure the quality of my articles is as high as I’d like it to be. Simple, yet effective!
But what I didn’t expect is that it would actually improve my spelling!
You see, it turned out that I was misspelling only a certain set of words, and I was so consistent making spelling mistakes, that in a matter of weeks I had learned most of the words I would usually misspell. They were not very long words, they were not very hard to spell properly, it’s just that I had a pattern of misspelling them. But over the course of two months, I’ve fixed the spelling of these words so many times that I’ve automatically started typing the same words correctly right at the time of writing!
So with the last few articles of mine, I had literally no spelling mistakes (I know this because I still maintain the focus and do the spell-check), all this just because I’ve paid attention and maintained my focus.
Isn’t it wonderful? I never expected that my focusing on spelling would improve anything but the quality of my articles, and yet – it helped me greatly improve my writing. Just like me, be prepared to see improvements everywhere and not just in the area you’re focusing on! You’ll be surprised how seemingly unrelated things gradually improve because of a minor tweak in your approach.
Dave Cheong just posted a very good article: 18 Ways to Stay Focused at Work.
I found most of items on his list to match nicely my own way of organizing the working day, and so I would like to comment on some of them and urge you to read Dave’s article in full:
Write out a daily task list and plan your day.
I find having a plan for the day one of the most useful ways to make sure everything is under control. It doesn’t have to be a to-do list, just a list of high-level tasks or goals would do just fine – the idea here is to maintain your focus, and to stay conscious about how much you’ve done and still have to do for the day.
Do not check personal email in the morning.
I’ve agreed on 3 times of the day when I’ll check my personal email or read other blogs through my Google Reader account. The times are: 9:30, 11:30 and 15:30. Since I start my working day at 8am, I’ve got plenty of time to work through the most important issues for the day.
Set your IM status. If you use Instant Messenger, when you don’t want to be disturbed, make use of the status and set yourself as being away or busy. Your friends and colleagues will honour that. They can either send you an email or look you up later when you aren’t as busy.
For about 3 years now, I’m not using IM at work at all. There are rare cases when I need to discuss something with my family or friends, and I will log into my IM account for an hour or so, but I don’t use it regularly anymore. In fact, I rarely start my IM even at home. Most of my communications are now done via email or VOIP.
Fill up a water bottle.
I always have a tall glass with water on my desk. It’s very handy to have it within a reach of my arm, and I never have to stop working in the middle of some task just to go and drink water.
Bring your lunch and have it at your desk.
It’s a habit I got from my previous job – I always bring my lunch with me, and enjoy my lunch while reading a newspaper or some blog article printed out.
Clean up your desk.
An excellent advice! You will not believe how having a tidy desk will help you be more organized and productive! I never let anything irrelevant stay on my desks, and I enjoy having a minimum of things which could possibly distract me.
Change your mindset and make work fun.
It’s always nice to have a laugh. Sometimes me and my colleagues just stop for a quick chat to smile, laugh and swap some funny stories. The four of us in our adjacent cubicles are very sensitive to the work tension – so we all know simultaneously when it’s time for a quick break. Sometimes we go to the canteen to grab another cup of tea or coffee, and we go together simply because this way we can talk.
The article is definitely worth a look, so if you liked the ways of staying focused I’ve highlighted above, go on and read the full post here: 18 Ways to Stay Focused at Work.
In the spirit of constant improvement, I’ve started cleaning up the earliest posts of mine. During the past few months I’ve learned a bit about writing and presenting articles, and so practically every old article had gone through a set of cosmetic changes.
I will be refreshing all the old articles as they badly need better formatting, and will keep you posted about my progress.
If you’ve been reading this blog since the very beginning – I would like to thank you and suggest you do open the articles and glance through them quickly – it will help you refresh your mind and also memorize some of the important points.
If you’re a reader who discovered this blog just recently, I would like to welcome you and offer these articles as the best way to learn how I got started with my personal development and what thoughts I had half a year ago:
Last Friday I took a day off. I had a great morning at home, playing with our little daughter and reading a book, and in the afternoon I got out to finish some business in the nearby town.
On my way back home in the afternoon, I stopped by a local shopping centre to buy something. While making my way to the shop, I noticed a man playing an old accordion. He seemed to be in his late 50s, and there was something really tired about his look. Yet he was smiling and playing passionately something very light and pleasing. Beside him there was a box for his accordion, opened for people to throw coins into.
The music seemed very familiar. One of the tunes I’ve recognized for sure – it was a rather popular Russian romance – Ochi Chernye (Dark Eyes). I stopped to listen for a short while, but felt guilty for not dropping him a coin (I simply had no change on me) and left pretty soon.
I’ve gotten back to the car, still thinking about the man. What I actually thought was that if I was a better person, I would’ve stayed longer and got some change from the shop, and gave him a coin or two, and maybe bought him a coffee and had a friendly chat.
Do you know this feeling when deep down inside you know you’d love to do something, but you’re so unsure of how it would look to others and how you would be judged, that you start looking for any excuse to bail out? That was the feeling I was experiencing at the time.
I was coming up with one reason after another along these lines: I have no time. I need to go. It would look stupid to buy a complete stranger a coffee. He would not appreciate it anyway, he probably sees hundreds of people just like me – passing him by and never giving him a coin. The bottom line: coming back will make no difference, nothing will change.
I started the engine, and headed for the exit. I kept reassuring myself of various valid and absolutely urgent reasons to leave immediately, but instead something different happened: in the very last moment, I’ve turned and took the last parking space right next to the exit. I shut the engine down.
From that moment on, I knew – the decision was made.
It’s been a good few months of me trying to raise my awareness of everything and anything that happens to me, in order to improve myself. I absolutely hate giving in to minute weaknesses, and always try really hard to force myself and make a conscious decision about some acts and thoughts I particularly dislike. With the time, I’ve developed this external view of myself, as if I’m looking from aside, and this helps me see where I behave absolutely irrational, and I actively try to stop myself from acting like this.
The decision had been made.
It’s incredible, how hard it is to be nice to some stranger. You suddenly have all the reasons in the world to believe it will not make any difference, but trust me it will. It is hard to stop rushing somewhere and smile to someone you don’t even know, but you should try it sometime. Not smile as you’re walking, but actually stop to talk. Stop to ask how life is treating a person, and be genuinely interested.
You know what I did? I came back, and I got my coffee, and stood next to the man listening to his music. I dropped him a coin. I sat at a table of a nearby cafe, and enjoyed another 10 minutes of him playing. And when he made a pause, I walked up to him, and asked if he would like to enjoy a cup of coffee with me. He asked for an espresso, and as soon as I bought it, we sat at the table and started talking.
We talked for about half an hour. He told me about his younger years and his career of a professional musician. Apparently, he had travelled the whole Europe in his early days – he was so good that many famous people invited him for a friendly visit. He knew many great composers and artists personally, and had a house full of photos and music contests trophies back in Romania.
This man had spent his last 9 years in Ireland. He came with his big family, but couldn’t find a proper job due to various reasons. Playing accordion is his only way of bringing money into the family, and so he plays almost every day. I’ve seen him a number of times playing in the city centre, his music was always great and his smile was always a sincere and cheerful one.
We talked like some good old friends. His English wasn’t perfect, but I’ve demonstrated the ability to understand many Romanian words, and so we had a complete understanding talking on various topics.
In just half an hour I’ve learned a lot about his past, his travels and his family. He told me about 3 sons and how he taught them to play various instruments and it’s like a small family orchestra now – they are welcome guests at any party because of this. I told him about our little daughter, and we talked about eternal things like life passing by too quick to notice and children growing up in no time at all.
When the coffee was finished, I stood up and asked for his name. Severin. It sounds like a last name in Russian, but that’s his name. I gave him my name, and we shook hands.
We smiled, and in a moment I was gone.
The last thing I remembered was his box for coins, with the most sincere words I’ve ever seen written on it: NO MUSIC – NO LIFE. THANK YOU.